About my declining heart condition

Ok ... basically... i've been going for a series of checks recently for my heart... as in REALLY MY HEART... not love matters watsoeva...

Current conclusion :small residual VSD + dilated aortic roar + right bundle branch block + abnormal bigger aorta

for those who dunno...

1) I've one of the rarer type of heart diseases around... called Doubly committed subarterial ventricular septal defects ( DCSA VSD ). I got it when i was born.

2) It was patched up when i was 2.5 years old... and i've been going for annual checkups all these years w/o problems... except for this year...

3) For the first time... INITIALLY STARTED WITH MY ECG... my ECG became abnormal... Right Bundle Branch Block
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Right_bundle_branch_block

basically some electric current or wateva is not functioning properly... but that's not the main problem..

4) now here comes another problem... which is that there's still a tiny leak ( the residual VSD ) in my heart... which is common amongst the patients who have VSD... so there's a slight murmur... and wateva stuff... just confirmed it after the suspicion all these years...

5) dilated aortic roar... i've no idea what this really means and there's almost nil info about this on the net.. probably has a "proper" medical term to it which i dunno... but i suspect its due to my blood flow in my heart or something not being high enough.. probably something like low blood pressure in a certain area of my heart or something.. probably related to the next problem though upon reading it..

6) The biggest worry / problem at the moment...SUSPECTED Enlarged Aorta... A.K.A. Aortic Aneurysm... basically you can read about it here. it was found while the doc did an echocardiograph on me...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aortic_aneurysm

"An aortic aneurysm is a general term for any swelling (dilatation or aneurysm) of the aorta, usually representing an underlying weakness in the wall of the aorta at that location. While the stretched vessel may occasionally cause discomfort, a greater concern is the risk of rupture, which causes severe pain; massive internal hemorrhage; and, without prompt treatment, results in a quick death."

GG... my aorta's slightly... actually relatively larger than normal... and my doc's a bit worried...

so i'm basically going to do a treadmill / stress ECG on thursday 29th november... to see if there's any other abnormalities...

sigh. suddenly in one year so many complications appear. what the hell...

and so my doc has told me to lay off doing contact sports, isometric exercises, and heavy loads for a while...

Ahhhhh i still want to play sports... take it away from me... and u're killing a part of my life....

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

i really wanna apologise to anyone who's worried about me... feeling damn screwed up now...

P.S. : when you go out with me.. please set 995 to ur quick dial number.

P.S.S : Please do not ... exclude me from any activities because of these T_T i beg you all... me want badminton ~ me want soccer ~ T_T T_T T_T sob sob sob

P.S.S.S : if you see me suddenly cringe in pain, grasp my heart / chest area, break out in cold sweat ... whatever... call the freaking ambulance immediately ... haha... still got so many things to do... i dun wanna go so fast now... haha...

P.S.S.S.S : if i really do die... whomever know who the ice cream girl is.. pls go tell her about it... and i just wanna tell everybody that i love them, and i'm sorry for the trouble, pain, and everything else i've brought about to their lives... dun cry for me too much.

P.S.S.S.S.SSSSSHUT UP !!!!!!!!! haha :P nuff' said ~