If you're NOT MENTALLY or EMOTIONALLY PREPARED... DO NOT READ

Ok i'm going to be just very very very brutally honest here. So just screw off if you think its better not to know what i'm about to write. i'm dead serious. its better off if u dunno what i'm about to say... but if u really want to know... just go ahead

































































i've just have had too many people coming up to me recently and telling me what to do with my life.... telling me they understand how i feel... telling me this... telling me that... ahhhhhhh whatever...

No. 1) I'm not as stupid as some people think. I know what i am doing.

No. 2) You all say that i must change. For whatever's sake... I KNOW THAT.

No. 3) Stop assuming you all know how i feel and think... YOU ALL DON'T



I really hate it this way. As if people are just invading my personal space. If i don't wanna talk about it, then i don't. If i do... then good for you. But stop fucking pushing me already. Its irritating at times.

And.. I'm not a freaking person who's made up of glass. Stop assuming u know how i'm feeling at each particular moment. For god's sake... one person's meat is another's poison... dun assume that ur joke will be fine with me.... be more tactful...

You may think that i'm just being childish or watsoeva... but ... what the fuck man... its happened many times already and i've already held back ranting a lot of times.

PLEASE I KNOW HOW I FEEL... I DON'T NEED PEOPLE TO TEACH ME HOW TO FEEL AND WHAT TO FEEL ... I DON'T NEED YOU TO TELL ME WHAT I'M FEELING ... I KNOW ! I'M NOT A PUPPET ON YOUR FREAKING PUPPET SHOW !

YOU WANT ME TO CHANGE ? I AM ! JUST THAT ITS TAKING TIME. CAN YOU ALL HAVE SOME FUCKING PATIENCE ?

I KNOW THAT I'M A FUCKING EMO KID. BUT WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT EXACTLY? YOU ALL KEEP SAYING THAT I NEED TO CLEAR MY EMO PROBLEMS ... BUT HEY.. WHAT THE FUCK ? NOBODY IS PERFECT. AND EVERYBODY NEEDS THEIR OWN PRIVATE SPACE. EVERYBODY ALSO HAS THEIR OWN FREAKING PROBLEMS BUT IT JUST SO HAPPENS THAT I TEND TO SHOW IT MORE OBVIOUSLY... I KNOW THAT THERE ARE FRIENDS BUT DUN TRY TO PRY ME OPEN... I WILL OPEN UP WHEN I AM READY...

YOU ALL SAY " WHY NOT? " ... BUT I KNOW THAT IT CAN'T BE DONE. YOU ALL PRESS ME FURTHER... AND ONCE I TELL YOU WHY... SOMETIMES, YOU ALL KNOW DEEP DOWN THAT ITS IMPOSSIBLE TOO... AND FOR FEAR OF TELLING ME THE CRUEL TRUTH... YOU ALL JUST COME UP WITH SOME RANDOM PHILOSOPHICAL, GURU-LIKE, MUMBO-JUMBO STUFF TO TRY NOT TO MAKE ME FEEL WORSE... PLEASE I KNOW WHATS GOING ON BETTER THAN YOU ALL DO....

THATS WHY PEOPLE SAY I'M PESSIMISTIC. CAUSE I KNOW. I PREDICT CORRECTLY. NOT BECAUSE I WANT IT TO HAPPEN THIS WAY... SO STOP SAYING THAT I'M THE ONE WHO'S HOLDING BACK !

yea.... just some ramblings... i know some people reading this will think that i'm specfically targetting at them... but i'm not... honestly... its just a result of my bottling up... and i dun like the way some people... actually most people... undermine my feelings and the way i behave.. and why i do so... probably they'll understand a bit better after reading this post

i REALLY REALLY do understand that its out of concern ... but yea... i just feel that its already been taken one step too far ahead from my stand. please dun be too offended...but this is all i really wanna say... dun wanna bottle this up any longer. But... yea... i think some things will never be the same again ...