Wednesday, June 18, 2008

the rare peek into what's going on...

mmm... just doing whatever i can to keep myself occupied. especially for this holidays.


now i'm sorta at my limit... probably cause i'm both physically and mentally pushed to the edge already. guess i need some place to rant everything...



even up till now.

i still feel weak.

i still feel confused.

i still feel defeated...

and lastly... afraid.

it just all brings me down to my knees. literally.

the things and places that i see... with the evoking memories... still strike me so deeply.

it all just leaves me clutching my chest... my bleeding heart.

and also putting on this iron mask of mine... hiding those tears of mine.

pretend. pretend. pretend. all because i know that i'll only make others sad if i keep looking sad. i feel it's right to put on this mask. but it's tiring.





the bleeding has eased. but can it ever stop?





and lastly... well to some people whom i spoke to... it's actually not that i'm not interested... it's just that i'm afraid bah. i can see myself doing what i know i'm not supposed to do...i never want to see history repeat itself... even if i'm in a different role.

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