Howling in the Shadows: still awake

i declare that i hate myself

The Lonely Piano Player

I couldn't look forward
Not knowing whether you would still be standing there
I couldn't look back
It only pains me with all the memories
Now i'm at the crossroads once again
Where the heavy rain pours upon me

I'm stuck once again with this knife planted so deeply in my heart
How could i even bear to pluck it out when it's all i have left?

I can only find your love in my dreams
Sleep is a narcotic which can calm this raging heart
I cannot bear to let you go
So for now
I continue walking in my dreams
Till the day my heart finally dies

When did the melody ever go so wrong?
How could i not see the madness of the conductor
How could i not see the breaking of all the strings
How could i not see the stage collapsing

Actually i knew
Just that i had gorged my eyes out
Cut off my ears
Peeled off my skin
I wanted to ignore everything
Deny the very reality i live in

But i knew i could pull the song together
At this very treacherous crossroad
At this very collapsing stage
At this point where music is fading away
With this knife within my heart
Where i refuse to give up the dream
I'll continue being that piano player
Playing the bleeding melody of his heart

Even if it comes to the end of the world
Even if all that's left is a wasteland
Even if i'm a thousand miles away from you
I still can't forget
That mischevious smile of yours
The feel of your skin
You'd think a thousand miles would be enough
I guess i'll keep on walking

Until the day
Where i will finally
Find you once again
In the corner of the tiny little bar
The colours of my heart
Will breathe life into this desecrated world
And the melody of my heart
Will play once again...
For the one and only...

You