EVEN MORE !!!

ok ... suddenly i was just thinking of my ideal dying situation... strange thing to think of.. but it'ld go along something like this.

I'm just lying in the middle of the road. All alone. My wrist is cut...top down... not across... bleeding all the way. Rain pours down heavily on me... on my face... my vision blurring... my mind still clear. Strength slowly drains out from me... Life slowly fades away....my limbs go numb... all thats left is the silent scream...

Strange i guess. But this would definitely reflect my feelings about life at the moment.

Craving for Hope in Despair

Dying due to loss of blood... my strength is drained. All i can do is think about the past slowly before i die. Past events flash across me. Regrets fill up my thoughts. Nothing i can do to change them. Neither can i do anything anymore... except just submit to my fate...and i realise that all i've done is meaningless... Yet at the same time... i'm hoping not to die... thats why i dun choose a method of quick death... but a slow death... hoping for someone to appear... to save me from my despair... but chances are... it'll never happen...

Cold, harsh reality

Rain pouring down on my face. Its so cold. All alone... and even the heavens mock me... my life is nothing but a tool of entertainment for others...

Sigh. i think the more i write... the more i'm drowning. Sometimes i really dunno how to bring out my feelings anymore. But i'm still hoping that someone would understand it... sigh. I'm really going mad... insane.

I dunno when i'll just crack the next time. Its getting more and more frequent. Like i almost lost it during stats class yesterday actually... almost... sighz.

Life...